


Varicelă

by Viet_joker



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Gen, Jason got jumped by a cat, Sickfic, i'll add as i go - Freeform, this is silly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 00:31:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5518805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viet_joker/pseuds/Viet_joker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick's days haven't been going to well lately. Then he has to go and get himself sick, as well as a few other poor unfortunate souls. At least he's not suffering alone. Let the slow insanity in the Wayne Manor, begin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy the silly story.

To be quite honest, a robbing is normally a walk through the park for Nightwing. Bit if a bang, bang, he dodges, they get away and then he chases them down and done. Other instances, he knocks them out pretty quickly before they whip the gun out. Unfortunately, this robbing didn’t turn out so smoothly for him. He has a feeling on what it could be, but he denies it so much.

Nightwing had been chasing a robber that had broken in and stolen something from the museum. By the time he got there, he vanished without a trace. This happened for several nights, until one night, he managed to catch him in the act. He chased him down, motorcycle to motorcycle. The crook had done pretty well on dodging until they both entered Gotham, and that’s when Nightwing managed to knock him off his motorcycle. Thankfully the police in Bludhaven contacts Gotham and cuffing the guy and sending him away was pretty quick.  

He ran into Batman and Robin. After a tiring night fighting the robber he decided to return to the Manor and crashed there. He went to take a shower, but then realized a small red dot on his right side. Thinking it was some weird bruise, he ignored it. After his shower, he went to sleep.

He woke up, tired. A bit groggy, but that seemed normal almost every morning. He heard a knock on the door.

“You can come in” he replied, albeit sleepily.

Alfred came in, smiling. It was good to see the lad again. “Master Richard, good morning. Breakfast is almost ready. Will you join us?” he asked, with a warm smile that wanted him to stay.

“Mornin’ Alfie and of course, I’d come anytime if it’s you’re cooking.” Dick smiled.

The old man smiled and nodded. “Then I’ll leave you to freshen up,” he said as he closed the door.

 Dick jumped up and did a quick twenty one hand stand push-up with two fingers, one arm behind his back. He flipped forward and went to take a quick shower. He peeled his shirt off, and checked his body for any cuts or wounds he missed. Then something struck as odd to Dick. He noticed a small red dot on the right side of his upper forehead. He glanced down from where he spotted the small red dot that seemed to have multiplied. He noticed a few more around the area. Maybe it was irritated? He scratched it and shrugged, peeling the last bits of his clothes off and hopped in the shower. During the hot, steamy shower, he would unconsciously scratch the area again and again.

After he was done, he came out with a towel wrapped around his lower half. He stepped out, opening the door to let out all the steam that had been collected and feeling the rush of cold air hit him. He glanced down to see a fresh set of clothes on his bed, as well as his Nightwing costume repaired. He chuckled. “Thanks Alfie, You’re amazing.” He slipped his clothes on and then pursued down stairs and towards the dining area.

“Ah! Master Richard, breakfast is ready,” Alfred said.

“Good morning, Father,” Damian said, entering the room. He paused and noticed Dick. “Tt, Grayson.” Dick smiled and bear hugged the poor boy from behind.

 “Lil D, how is your morning?” Dick snuggled his cheek into Damian’s hair.

“Grayson, I will drag you by your intestines if you do not release me at this moment.” Damian growled.

“Morning to you too little D.” he chuckled and put him down. “Morning Bruce.”

Bruce looked down from his newspaper and cocked an eyebrow. He hadn’t of realized that he had stayed the night.

“Did you stay the night here?” he asked.

“Yea, I was too exhausted to get on the bike and go back to blüdhaven. I would’ve fallen asleep out on the middle of the road.”

“Better than you freeloading here…” Damian mumbled.

“Damian…” Bruce said.

“Where’s Tim?” Dick asked, seeing a missing person from the table other than Jason, who rarely comes by.

“With the titans. They called him in to help them with someone who had their technology stolen.” Bruce sipped his rich black coffee, resting the side of his face on his left hand, elbow resting on the arm of the chair. “They can’t even manage to do it themselves….”

“Hah. Those fools that call themselves the teen titans can’t manage to even do a single mission without their leader.” Damian let out, suddenly realizing he was in a way complementing him. “Who as well is worthless.” He quickly added. Bruce and Dick glanced at him and at each other, letting out a soft chuckle.

 “So what was with chasing the guy all the way to Gotham?” Bruce asked, changing the topic for Damian, who was glad.

Dick sighed. “I’ve been trying to catch the guy for several nights now. Last night I finally caught him in the act and chased him down on his motorcycle all the way to Gotham. He left no evidence what-so-ever.” He stretched his arms up. “I’m glad he’s dealt with.” He slightly groaned at the popping and cracking noises coming from his shoulders, arms and spine. Ohh that felt good. He felt a bit hot and tired still.

“That is disgusting, Grayson.” Damian watched in slight disgust. Dick chuckled and began eating his breakfast. Oh how he missed Alfred’s cooking. It was so delectable.

“So how are things so far in school for ya, Dami?” Dick asked with a smile. As soon as he asked that, Bruce’s hand on the newspaper twitched. Uh oh. Bad thing to ask?

Damian put his fork down. “Tt…” the boy scowled.

“Uh…did something bad happen?” he asked carefully.

“I am part of the Debate team of the school…or rather I used to be. During one of our many topics in which we debate on, I just so happened to have made the opposing side cry…Tt…bunch of spoiled rich baby brats.” He scowled more. “It wasn’t MY fault they were so sensitive about things.”

“How did you make them cry?”

“I merely used their families and lives as a primary example to our debates. They got mad and said…some things that I did not entirely agree with. So I just threaten them a little. How was I supposed to know they all had traumatizing kidnappings? Hmph.”

“Anyways.” Bruce interrupted. “Are you heading back to Blüdhaven after breakfast?” Bruce asked, somewhat hinting the boy to stay.

“Yeah, those guys can never leave the city alone. If only they can all get sick for a few days that would be wonderful.”

“Hmph, if only.” Bruce wished that too. Then maybe he can spend some time with his sons.

Dick finished up the last of his breakfast, and his juice and got up at the same time Alfred came in.

“Leaving, Master Richard?” Alfred asked.

“Yeah, gotta get back.” Dick sighed. He wanted to stay some more, but he had to get back and take a look in the robber’s place. “Still have some things I have to investigate on that robber. I feel as if he’s not particularly done yet.”

“Then take a lunch a prepared you.” Alfred smiled, holding the container of food. “Last night’s leftovers, I hope it is alright with you.”

Dick smiled. “Thanks a bunch, Alfie.”

Alfred smiled at the boy. He noticed his face seemed a bit feverish. He glanced over at Bruce who noticed as well. He got up and advanced towards Dick, who looked at him questioningly.

“Are you feeling alright?” Bruce asked, feeling the boy’s forehead with the back of his hand. “You’re a bit warm.”

“I’m fine. I just took a hot shower a while ago before I came down.” Dick rather whined out. “Gotta go, see ya!” he said, quickly leaving.

Bruce gave him a skeptic look, arching his eyebrow. He glanced down at the back of his hand, revealing some concealer.

“Hm…” he let out.

“I assume by that hum, you will be visiting Master Richard tonight?” Alfred asked.

Bruce nodded.

“I am coming as well father?” Damian asked.

Bruce turned around and looked at him. He smiled. “Sure, why not.”

** ~0o0o0o0o0o0~ **

 “It’s like they’re all out to get me.” Nightwing let out as he took care of yet another round of robbers, in broad daylight more or less. He heard the sirens going off everywhere in the city. He watched as the police came and arrested the robbers. He heard yet another scream and some glass breaking.

Here we go again.

It practically took hours until the streets finally settled down. He took care about twelve robberies, half of which had hostages, busted a drug lord (really, he actually walked in on that, but kept his poker face on), took care of a few fires and got the people out safely. His suit was tattered, rips and holes. He could list all the things, but now he had to head over to the robber from last night’s place. The very last place for tonight. During the drug lord bit, Oracle had told him that the robber from last night managed to escape without a trace. It left the police station stumped. She had let him in on the place he was staying at in Bludhaven.

He perched himself on the window ledge outside and peered inside carefully. The place seemed normal, albeit pretty messy. Nightwing closely observed the window, and around it. Seeing as it not been booby trapped, he carefully lifted it up and slipped inside.

“Took ya long enough.” Nightwing spun around and into a defensive stance until he recognized the dark figure on the couch…sipping coffee.

“Jay? What the hell?” Nightwing whispered, finally recognizing who the figure was. “How long were you there?”

“Long enough to make myself a pot of coffee,” Red Hood answered his older brother.

“…let me guess, you went through the front door?” he growled, looking at the steamy cup of rich black coffee. “You’re touching evidence.”

“Yup.” Popping the ‘P’. “Calm your tits, dickie-bird. It’s only coffee.” Jason took another sip of coffee.

“What are you doing here anyways?” he sighed. He had hoped to go in and get out so he can wrap it up for tonight.

“Same reason why you are, dickie bird.” He got up and poured himself another cup. “The fucker hit some other places to. Got some dirt on him and found his place.” He said as he sipped his cup of hot, steamy, rich, black, stolen coffee. He hummed. Whoever this guy was, had some good taste in coffee.

“I assume it involves a huge reward for you.”

“He stole a certain artifact. All that I was informed was that it was to be obtained and into their hands a.s.a.p. didn’t get much info on it, but I was paid a very pleasing price to go fetch it and bring it back.”

“Knew it had money involved. What’s the artifact anyways?” he sighed, leaning on the wall near the window.

“…”

“What’s the hold up, thought you would be in and out for that money.”

“About that…” he lifted his leg up to reveal a strange looking device clamped around his ankle. “Every time I step foot out, the little bitch beeps like hell.  Dunno if it’s gonna blow up.”

Nightwing stared at the device. “Don’t tell me….THAT’S what you were supposed to go retrieve for them?” he paused to laugh “How’d you get that thing stuck on you?” Nightwing said, laughing.

“Tch, I came in through the door.  Started observing and looking around. Fucking fatass cat jumped out of nowhere and scared the crap out of me. Started attacking my leg and I knocked over some stuff and lo and behold,” he lifted his leg and pointed at it.

“Pfft.” Nightwing muffled out his laughter that slipped out of his mouth.

“It’s not funny!” Red Hood growled. “I am so not taking a risk of blowing up, _again_ , and the beeping doesn’t sound too friendly.”

“Did you even try to take it off?” he chuckled. “You sure it’s just not a tether from probation?”

“Checked his files, he isn’t on one. I’ve looked and tried, it won’t come off. You’re the Master escapee,” He shoved his foot in Nightwing’s face. “Get the damn thing off. I wanna go and get my green and hit the hay, in my _own_ place.”

“Alright, alright. Just sit down already, geez.” Nightwing said as he pushed Red Hood onto the couch. He lifted up his left leg. He inspected the object, checking for any screws or opening he could pry at. He found a very thin slot on the top rim, though it was nothing that he could get _into_.

It seemed like a slick metal, with a clear reflection of his distorted features on its surface. Almost similar to what Bruce uses for the batarangs and such. “Hm, no openings.” He brought out a tiny object and pointed at the thing carefully. “Tell me if you feel any burn.” He said nonchalantly.

“Wait—”

Nightwing pressed the sides, and out came a red laser. Instead of it doing what Nightwing had hoped and burn through the tether like thing, it bounced off and hit everywhere till it shot out the window. Nightwing was for sure that he had gotten hit a bit by the laser as did Red Hood, burning his hair. Nightwing gaped at the window.

“I tried that with my gun. It ricochet off of it,” he hissed, touching where his hair was burnt. “God dammit.”

“A gun? What would’ve happened if it had shot your foot off?” he said, getting angry at his younger brother’s carelessness.

Red Hood shrugged his shoulders. “As long as the damn thing is off, I don’t give a shit. Arsenal can hook me up with someone that can make me one hell of a prosthetic that can shoot out laser beams.”

Nightwing sighed. “And where did the bullet land…”

“Uhh….let’s say that cats didn’t have nine lives after all…” he glanced back into a corner and then glanced away. “I’ll bury it later.”

Nightwing shook his head. “So bullets and laser beams didn’t get through this…” he tapped on it with his middle finger on his left hand. He noticed that the metal had made contact to his skin, seeing that no material from his pants weren’t under it. “What happened to your pants?” seeing it was ripped up a bit.

“Damn cat and their fucking claws.” He seethed. “Spawn of Satan I tell you.”

“Hmm….” he had an idea.

“ _Hm_? _Hm_ what? I hate it when people do that!” he started getting grouchy.

Nightwing ignored him as he peeled off part of the suit from his hand, revealing his skin up to his wrists. He touched the metal with his left hand and in an instant it clamped over Nightwing’s wrist. Nightwing pulled the thing, trying to pry it off, but it wouldn’t budge. “Uhh…” he laughed nervously. “When we look back, we’ll laugh about it!” he laughed awkwardly.

Red Hood gave him a questioning look. “What the hell are yo—” he lifted his left leg, seeing his older brother’s left wrist attached to it firmly. “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!” he tried shaking him off. He bent down and tried to pry it off, but had no such luck.

“Ahaha…I guess it bonds to skin contact,” He said, scratching his head. He unconsciously scratched his side again, slowly moving upwards.

_“Out of orbit. Preparing for teleportation.”_

“What the fuck did it just say!” Red Hood yelled nervously. “It didn’t say that before!”

“Teleportation…I just hope it’s not off earth.”

“Why are you so damn calm! I don’t want to be blasted into another planet or dimension!” he gritted his teeth as he tried to pry the darn thing off.

_Human virus Varicella detected. Teleportation delayed for fear of contamination to other subjects._

“The hell is Varicella?” he asked Nightwing.

“Not sure, but at least we have some time to get the darn thing off,” Nightwing said as he started using a Bat-a-rang to carve his way out.

“Geez, where did you catch it?” he asked, somewhat cautious to not get sick. Nightwing looked up at him blankly.

“Catch what?” obviously confused by the question.

“The damn virus,” he said. Nightwing’s face was still oblivious to the question.

“What do you mean?” he paused “…I’m not sick,” he said.

“Well, I’m for sure the sick one here.” He pointed at him accusingly. “I’m actually cautious with my health. You on the other hand, Mr. I-can’t-find-the-mother-fucking-floor-to-my-apartment, are not.”

“Well, excuse me for being so busy.” He paused. “And I’m not sick. I’ve never been sick” he huffed as he got up abruptly and crossed his arm, dragging Red Hood’s left leg in between his arms in the process, thus leaving him in a very uncomfortable position. “Ask Alfred.” He smirked at his little brother’s current position.

Red Hood, finally losing his patience, yanked his foot back forcefully and sat back up, crossing the said leg across his right thigh. Nightwing, being yanked down all of a sudden, fell forward onto his knees and into Red Hood’s lap. Red Hood sat there, arms spread, grinning. “You’re in denial, dickie bird.”

“I am—” he elbowed him in his gut. “—not.” Nightwing got up and perched himself on the arm of the sofa beside Red Hood.

“Well what the fuck now?” Red Hood asked.

“Hmm…we could risk finding out what the beeping could lead too.”

“No way in hell.”

“Oh come on.”

“No.”

“So I guess you don’t mind it transporting us somewhere else huh?” Nightwing said nonchalantly, not knowing he was unconsciously scratching the back of his head.

“NO.”

Nightwing sighed. “Where did you find this tether thing at?” he asked. Red Hood pointed over towards the table lying on its side. He tugged on the device for Red Hood to get up and go over there. Red Hood reluctantly got up, and jumped over the couch while Nightwing hopped down and went towards the mess, both boys getting there in very peculiar, awkward movements. He crouched over and observed the mess. His vision began to blur. Nightwing squeezed his eyes shut and tried to get his mind off for a few seconds.

“Hmm, did they not mention if it got stuck to you by any chance at all?” he asked Red Hood, who responded with shaking his head.

“God dammit, don’t tell me that we’re gonna have to call in Bats, do we?”

“Nah, pretty sure we can avoid him with this…besides if we came in the cave like this then he will NEVER let us live it down,” Nightwing said, feeling exhaustion creeping up on him.

 “Not to mention that Timmy and the demon would probably take photos and use them for blackmail.” Red Hood added.

Nightwing sighed and began to dig through the mess, trying to find something that could possibly relate to the device on them. Beyond the mess, he found a few broken pieces of a thin metal that was made from the same thing that was currently attached to them. He noticed that there was a bunch of other bits that seem to have broken to small, tiny pieces. “….don’t tell me this was the key…”

Red Hood glanced down. “fuck…” he crouched down and grabbed another piece of the broken key. “We can repair it with metal we have, can’t we?” He felt the metal, recognizing it bore a resemblance with the batarangs metal, or whatever the hell Bruce uses. “We can just sneak in the cave when batsy is gone, remake one, open this baby up and be on our merry way.”

“We don’t even know what the key looks like!” Nightwing took out a bag and stuck the pieces of the key in there safely and tucked it away. Nightwing sighed. His sweet, comfortable bed would have to wait now. After calming down, a damn itch suddenly perked up yet again. He reached over to his upper right side and scratched the area rather harshly and moved a bit to the front, all while mumbling to himself. He was exhausted, practically a full day of heroic duties nonstop and _now_ he has to deal with this.

“Would you quit fucking scratching yourself, you’re making me itchy.” Red Hood complained.

“Come on, let’s head to my flat. Maybe I have something over there to help us get out of this….predicament…”

“Hell no. Not going out there.”

Nightwing was beginning to get frustrated. He got up abruptly, surprising his brother. Nightwing scooped up Red Hood into his arms and grabbed his red helmet. He jumped out of the window and into an alley, where Red Hood parked his motor cycle.

“The hell—” Red Hood let out an ‘Ooph’ when Nightwing got on the motorcycle, plopping Red Hood in his arms still. Nightwing shoved the ‘Red Hood’ back on Jason’s head and started the bike.

“See? No beeping.” Nightwing let out.

“Let me down now, and I won’t remove your Richard.” Red Hood angrily growled at him. “My bike, I get to drive it.”

Nightwing roared the engine. “Sorry! What was that!” A pound in his head made him stop.

“I. Will. Shoot. You.”

Nightwing smirked at Red Hood’s obvious embarrassment. Feeling something from behind him he glanced back, noticing two approaching figures.

“Ey, boss! Foun’ dat thing yas was lookin’ for!” a man said on his phone. A huge grotesque alien emerged out of the shadows, revealing its huge, muscular pink flesh, and black eyes.

_“Good. Bring it in before **I** run out of patience, and don’t blow our cover.”_ A husky voice emitted from the device.

Another figure stepped out, a rather normal sized, about the same size as Bruce. This one was rather scrawny looking. His arms were longer than a human’s. He had a pale, rosy flesh skin tone, with black eyes.

“What if it’s stuck to some humans?” the scrawny one said.

_“Hm. Bring them in. I want to take the pleasure of slicing them off the device.”_

“Got it,” both of them said. They pressed something on their wrist watch, cloaking them in a hologram. Both did not seem to blend in, as they both were in a simple suit, paired off with sunglasses. They’re pink skin was switched to a peachy color. The taller one was bald, while the other had simple brown, slicked back hair and a serious five o’clock shadow.

“Come wit us, and we can remove dat device on ya.” The taller one said.

“And what makes you think we’ll go with you?” Nightwing told them. He winced at the slight headache the shot up in his head.

“Come on; let’s make this simple and easy for all of us.” The smaller one said.

“Yea, I’d like to keep my limbs _intact_ , so how about fuck off.” Red Hood said, grabbing his gun and shooting at them. The two dodged the fire, quickly looking up to see them drive off. The surprise gun shooting off did not help his new headache at all.

“Looks like Ren and Stimpy knows what this thing is.” Red Hood commented, looking back. He saw the ‘Ren’ the smaller one, stretched his limbs out, grabbing the back wheel. It made the bike go up on the back wheel. “Fuck!”

Red Hood reached over and pressed a hidden button. The back of the bike popped open a small section, and out it shot exploding batarangs.

“GAH!” Ren released the bike.

“Nice.” Nightwing commented, swerving from one alley to another, finally reaching the streets.

“Click inside using your left ankle.” Red Hood told him. Nightwing did so, using his left ankle and hitting it on the inside. The bike suddenly popped open two pipes on the side, emitting flames and burning the approaching enemies behind them.

“ARRGHH—little punk!” Ren said, crashing onto the ground in pain.

Nightwing turned and looked behind him, glad the strange alien had let go.

Red Hood on the other hand pressed the comm. link to his ear. “Kor’ I know your there. You anywhere near my current location?”

A static buzzed, but a voice was soon picked up. “Jason! Yes, I am near you, surprisingly. Do you need my assistance?” she asked sweetly.

“Something like that. There are a couple of pink freaky thug aliens coming after us. Aliens are more of your specialty.”

“Can you not deal with them yourselves? If I am correct, you had said ‘us’, someone is with you.”

“Dickie bird is here. And we’re a bit caught up in something right now.”

“I see. I shall come and deal with them now.”

“Thank ya Kor’.” Red Hood ended the link.

“EY! You two are going ta regret that!” the other alien said. He was on a hover board, idiotically blowing their cover.

“So much for trying not to blow their cover,” Nightwing said.

Red Hood pressed another small button. Near the back of the bike, a trap door opened and shot out a lasso with two heavy balls at each end. It wrapped around ‘Stimpy’. Being much larger, breaking the line didn’t hold much of a problem to him.

“Tch.” Red Hood let out.

“Ha, my turn ya runts.” He lifted his arms and started shooting pink goops out of his arms and towards them. Most of it shot pass them, landing on the street, walls and on cars. Nightwing dodged all the ones coming towards them and the ones on the ground.

“Shitty aim.” Red Hood commented.

“Complaining Jay? Do you want him to have a better aim?”

“Sbar’nans!” a voice yelled out.

Everyone stopped and looked up towards the voice to see a long, redheaded beauty. Green emerald eyes and orange skin of fire. She was wearing her usual purple and silver suit.

“You have no business here on earth. Leave now.”

“You ain’t tha princess here, Darlin,” Ren said, appearing out of nowhere. “We can do as we please.” She saw them started off towards Nightwing and Red Hood.

Kori gritted her teeth. “It is the hard way then.” She shot at them with her eye beams.

She blasted them with her star bolts as she flew down towards them. The aliens nearly dodged Kori as she crashed on the ground near them. She yanked out a lamp post; part of the cement still attached it, and swung it at them. Stimpy crashed into a wall as Ren crouched down and successfully dodged it.

Ren looked up, only to see the Tamaranean now holding a large human vehicle, and only remembered seeing complete darkness.

“She never holds back…” Nightwing began chuckling that soon turns into a slight cough, scratched at his neck and around the back of it.

“Friends, are you alright?” she asked, coming up towards them, dragging the two of them along. She also had the hover board in the other hand.

“Yup, thanks Kor.” He eyed the hover board.

“Yea, thanks Star.” Nightwing smiled, fighting back the cough.

“Watcha gonna do with the hover board there?” Red Hood asked. She smiled and set it on the back of his bike.

“Spoils of a fight. You may keep it,” She paused, “If I may ask, why you are in his arms, Jason?” she asked, looking at his position.

Red Hood was glad he had the red helmet on or else they would be seeing his face blush. “Don’t. Ask.” He tapped his fingers.

“Uhh, we just got ourselves in a little predicament. We were just heading over to my place to help us get out of it.” he said nervously.

She nodded. “I see.”

“Who are they anyways?” Nightwing asked.

“These are Sbar’nans. Very small planet. Most of the populations do mercenary work for other planets. I assume by them being here they have lost something of theirs. They usually have the work done fairly quickly.”

Nightwing turned to his younger brother. “Jay, didn’t you say you were doing the same?”

“Never met those guys.” He thought for a moment. “The ones hired me were probably the ones that own it. Guess someone ain’t too keen on their cargo being late.

“We’ll check up on that later,” Nightwing sighed.

“I shall take care of these two and find their boss. It should not be too much to handle,” Kori said as she began to levitate.

“You sure you got this?” Nightwing asked, worried. She nodded as she took off. Nightwing glanced at Red Hood. “Now off to my flat.”

** ~0o0o0o0o0o0~ **

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shhh. Just enjoy. *Shoves confetti down your throat*

** ~0o0o0o0o0o0~ **

Nightwing parked the bike where he would usually park his. He looked up to the fire escape that connected to everyone’s window, including his. Red Hood jumped off and dragged Nightwing along, who managed to grab the hover board before he was dragged. He jumped up and climbed the ladder, Nightwing in tow. With their predicament, they manage to get to the apartment.

As soon as they opened the window and stepped inside, Nightwing let out a deep, long sigh.  He propped up the hover board against the wall near the window. Finally he was back. He made sure all the windows were secured and closed, and curtains down before he peeled his mask off and set it on the counter.

“Can we at least sit somewhere where both our limbs aren’t being a pain in the ass to the other?” Red Hood growled out as he took his Red helmet and mask off and set it on the counter too.

Dick turned to him and saw him balancing on one foot, the other in the air attached to his wrist. Dick nodded as he went over to the large couch and plopped himself down, and Jason hopped on it and laid on his back, leaning on the arm of the couch.

Dick’s eyelids were getting heavier. He was exhausted and the itch on his side was aggravating. He was about to scratch it until a voice creep up on him.

“You didn’t even notice my presence at all.” It said. Both of the birdies on the couch jumped up at the sound, but calmed after realizing who it was. Dick groaned.

“Jesus Christ old man, why the fuck are you here?” Jason said.

“I could say the same to you, Todd.” Another figure emerged from the shadows, revealing a brightly colored hero.

“Demon.”

“Mistake.”

“Piece of shi—” he was about to get up but was stopped by Batman.

“Enough,” Batman said, peeling his cowl off. Robin acknowledged it and took his mask off as well, being in a safe enough environments. “Now I know something is wrong with you when you can’t even tell I’m here. You always do, Dick,” he said. He turned to Dick.

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yea, not the best of nights for me.”

“I could tell from the way you reacted today,” Jason said to him. “Not very golden boy like.”

“Why are you even here, Todd?” Damian asked. He could see the scowl on Jason’s face. He heard Dick let out a harsh sigh as he lifted his left wrist, Jason’s left ankle attached to it via a strange device.

Dick knew Bruce was cocking his eyebrow up, Damian smirking. Damian let out a snort. Dick ruffled his own hair, scratching it in the process and soon began to scratch at the side of his chest. So said scratch was definitely not dying down at all. After it finally died down, he could see Jason glaring at him, who was scratching his arm without him knowing it.

“How did this happen?” Bruce asked.

Dick sighed. “I went to investigate about the mysterious robber. I found his place and lo and behold, Jason was there. A cat jumped him and he fell over, and the thing got stuck to him. It binds to skin contact. I didn’t figure it out until after I tested that out.” He momentarily lifted his left wrist again, along with Jason’s left ankle. “So here we are.”

“Since you’re here in all, think ya got somethin’ in that handy dandy belt of yours to get us outta this?” Jason glanced at Dick closely, observing him although his question was directed towards Bruce.

Bruce walked around the couch and crouched down in front of the device. He stroked his chin and let out a hum. He began tapping at the strange device.

“It’s alien tech.”  Jason let out. Jason explained to Bruce what Kor’ had informed them. Damian just studied Dick, worried if he was alright. Something he would never admit aloud. The accumulating sweat on Dick’s forehead only furthered Damian’s assumptions that something was clearly wrong with him.

Damian sighed and peeled his glove off. He walked over to Dick and felt his forehead before being swatted away by Dick’s hand. The boy furrowed his eyebrows. Had it been nothing, the man would never dare hit Damian.

“Grayson, you fool. You’re running a fever,” he said. It earned Dick a hard glare from Bruce and Jason.

“You _are_ sick! I _knew_ it was you!” Jason jerked up and pointed at him. “It better not be contagious.”

“It’s probably just a cold.”

“Dick, you’re coming back home,” Bruce announced.

“I’m fine. I’m not going back just cause of a little cold.”

“Grayson don’t be a fool,” Damian said.

“Yo Bats, can you do me a favor and remove me from him so I can get the hell outta here?” Jason grumbled.

“We can do it when we get to the cave,” Bruce said.

“I said I’m not going back to the cave, Bruce.”

“Yes you are…BOTH of you are.” He glanced at Jason as well on this.

“God dammit.” Jason growled out. “I am not going back there. All I want is to turn this in and get my money and sleep.”

“You can sleep back at the Manor.” Bruce said.

“No thanks.”

“I’d gladly slice off your ankle if you wish so, Todd.” Damian smirked.

“You little piece of—”

“Uh…am I interrupting something?” a new, hoarse voice let out. Faster that the fastest man alive would envy, Bruce and Damian put their mask back on and blocked Dick and Jason from sight. Both of them had batarangs in hand and took a defensive stance.

“Chill! It’s me guys!” the voice coughed and emerged from the shadows. It was Red Robin.

“Drake you idiot!” Damian snapped. He peeled off his mask and sent him a glare.

Bruce sighed as he removed his cowl once again. “We all must be on edge. I didn’t even notice you came in.”

“It’s my specialty, Bruce.” Red Robin took his mask off and stuffed it in a pocket.

“What happened with your voice?” Dick asked Tim.

“Organizing Alien tech with the Titans and a few others are on my avoid list. Only way to settle the others shouting at each other is if I yell back at them.” he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Why are you even here, Replacement?” Jason asked. Bruce got out of the way, same with Damian.

“I was thinking of asking Dick to help me on a little something, but I guess he has his hands full.” He thought for a moment. “Wait—why are you all even here?”

“Golden boy here is sick,” he said with slight disgust that he was still attached to him. An idea struck Jason’s mind. “You’re the tech wiz birdie; you get us out of this!”

“Out of wha—” Tim started, but realized what he was talking about. “AH!” he gaped, pointing at the thing.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “So you’ve seen thi—”

“Why do you guys have that?” Tim shouted, and quickly covered his mouth. “We’ve been searching everywhere for it!” he said excitingly.

“Please enlighten us as to what the hell you are talking about, Drake.” Dick elbowed Damian for the use of his language.

Tim took out a piece of paper from his belt and held it up. It was a sketch of the device. “This is what was stolen, among other things as well but we managed to track those down, from the guys we’re helping.”

“What the hell is it already!” Jason asked impatiently.

“Translated, it’s a pet ring. It binds to specific molecules when programmed. Since it’s out of its orbit, it automatically teleports the pet back home. Good way to keep track with their valued pets.” Tim walked over to it and ran his fingers on it. “This one so happened to go a bit haywire and attached to every little thing it could come in contact with.”

“So why were there so many guys after this thing?” Dick asked.

“The pet ring is only for exclusive, valuable pets.” He paused. “The pet ring itself its worth quite a lot too. There are different values of these rings, and this one is rare, practically worth billions in our currency due to the technology behind it.” Tim told them. “Word got out that it was being transported with some other stuff and they got hit and lost some of their things. This was one of them.”

“How do we get it off, Tim?” Dick asked.

“The owners said it came with a key.”

“…broke it.” Jason muttered.

“What?” Tim asked confusingly.

“I broke the damn key!”

Tim face palmed himself. He sighed aggravatingly. “I’ll have Cyborg ask them about it. Surely he can come up with something.” He brought out his holo computer and typed in a few things. “In the meantime…Dick are you alright?” Tim glanced up at Dick. He looked a bit pale. “You don’t look so good.”

“Even Drake agrees, Grayson.” Damian huffed.

“Heeuughhhchooo!” Dick let out a sudden sneeze that caught Tim off guard and hit Tim right in the face.

“…gee…thanks Dick.” He wiped his face. “So gross.”

“Sorry Tim. How fast you think they can fix it?” Dick asked, wiping his nose.

“Hmm, not long. Cyborg is pretty quick on this.”

“Would you quit scratching yourself! I swear it’s even making me itchy!” Jason growled out. He pounced on Dick and held one arm down with the attached ankle and the other with his right hand. “Just what the hell are you scratching away at?!”

Dick struggled against Jason, but was too weak to get him off himself. “Jason get off of me!”

“Look! You’re almost tearing into your uniform!” Jason said, touching at it. Dick squirmed from under him.

“How long have you been scratching at that?” Tim asked, eyeing him.

Dick sighed. “I don’t know…since yesterday night I guess.” Tim smoothed his fingers over the thinning fabric. Dick winced at the contact.

“See? It’s already tender.”

Damian went over, after hearing enough, and pulled out a birdarang. “You better not move Grayson.”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Tim asked. He got in front of him. Damian shoved Tim out of the way and carefully cut open the fabric area that Dick had been scratching at. He ripped it, revealing a nasty red gash that was beginning to bleed.

“Augh _,_ _gross_.” Jason commented.

“It’s already bleeding.” Damian growled a bit.

“Dick, that looks terrible.” Tim said.

“Enough. Let’s get back to the cave so Alfred can treat Dick.” Bruce pulled his cowl back on. “Come on.”

Dick sighed and tried to get up. Jason however, didn’t move an inch. 

“I’m driving this time.” Jason crossed his arms.

“What? It’s the only comfortable way!”

“For you maybe.”

“Guys, you can use this.” Tim said, pointing over to the hover board. “This is so cool.”

“I’m pretty sure one of us is going to fall off.” Dick said, finally getting up from Jason. Batman tossed Dick his mask and Jason his mask and helmet as well.

“We don’t even know how to fly the damn thing.” Jason said, pressing the eyepiece on, slipping on the iconic Red Hood.

Tim studied the hover board for a second, flipping it around and groping at it. He went towards the open window. Bruce moved slightly so Tim could have enough room.

“Hm.” Was all he said as he slipped on the eyepiece and jumped out of the window, startling Dick and Jason. Damian muttered, calling him an idiot while Bruce stuck his head out the window to observe. Tim was falling towards the ground whilst slipping the board under his feet. He shifted his feet around till he felt the hidden buttons. He pressed it with the right of his foot and his fall to ground halted. “What a rush.” He messed with the controls until he got the hand of steering it. He swerved around, balancing on it. “Like a surf board. Gotta make a blue print of this.” he thought to himself. He steered around and went back up to the window in the alley.

“The three of us can fit on here, but Nightwing, you’re gonna have to let Red Hood stand.”

Nightwing sighed. “Alright.”

The two of them boarded, masks donned. Red Hood almost fell off once he stepped foot on it. Nightwing had no problem, almost felt like balancing on a tight rope.

“You should be used to this Jay.” Nightwing snickered.

“And how about you shut that mouth of yours before I shove my foot and your hand down your throat at the same time.”

“Guys…you might want to hold on.” Red Robin said. He smirked over to the Bat jet that came up beside them in the air. Tim knew by how fast it could go from the ground to Dick’s window, the thing was pretty fast. He wanted to test how fast it was compared to the bat jet.

Red Robin bent his knees, getting ready. Red Hood reluctantly grabbed onto his shoulders. Nightwing crouching down already, gripped onto the sides of the hover board, and got ready. Red Robin grinned and took off, racing the Bat jet.

“Fuck!” Red Hood wrapped his arms around Tim’s waist to avoid being blown off. He didn’t know how the boy was still holding on. “How the hell are you still sticking on?”

“Magnets.” He pointed at his boots. “Duh.”

** ~0o0o0o0o0o0~ **

Of course they, or Red Robin, lost to the Bat jet, but it kept a close race by nearly a mile back. Sounds far, but compared with the Bat jet, yea it was fast. Red Hood and Nightwing managed to not get knocked off the hover board, with the driver’s very excited and enthusiastic interest on how well made it is.

As soon as they all arrived at the Batcave, their bikes, Red Hood and Red Robin’s, mysteriously arrived before they have. Batman didn’t press into that topic, as if it were nothing. All of the Bat boys took off their masks, finally able to relax. Jason took his jacket off and draped it over the chair near the bat computer.  Alfred came down from the stair well, platter of refreshments ready. The medical table had been set up, after hearing a word from Batman.

“Ah, good to see Master Jason here again.” Alfred smiled. Jason smiled. Ahh, Alfred. God ‘ol Alfred. A god on earth. “It seems you and Master Richard have gotten yourself into a predicament I see.” He said, eyeing the strange device clamped onto them. “Well then you two, on the table.” He said as he turned and went towards the medical table.

The two awkwardly moved over to the table and hopped up on it, Jason bending his left knee to himself so the both of them can be comfortable and not complain.

Alfred put on some gloves and a mask to cover his mouth, careful to not transmit any bacteria or catch any of it. He looked over at Dick’s side, softly touching at the wound.

“Dear me, how long have you been scratching at this, Master Richard?” Alfred asked. The scratch wound had torn his skin.

“A couple of days.” He answered. Alfred shook his head and cleaned up the blood. What he found underneath the blood had shocked him, though he showed no emotion of it. He lifted his eyebrow at the discovery.

“Master Dick, I believe you have never gotten sick when Master Bruce had brought you home for the first time, but if you can recall, have you ever been sick before your time at the manor?” Alfred asked carefully.

Dick thought for a moment, bringing his right hand underneath his chin. “Don’t think I ever did. I attended to practice every day, and went the performance in the audience when my family performed since I was still a bit young.” He shook his head and looked up. “Nope.”

“Are you sure?” he asked once again.

Dick chuckled. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Alfred was sure of what is going on with Dick now. From how Bruce had described how he acted, it made sense.

“Alfred, what’s wrong with Dick?” Tim asked, coming up to his side.

“He’s sick!” Jason shouted. “Dickie bird here is just in denial because he doesn’t want to break his record.” He paused for a moment. “I mean, the sneeze in your face proved he was sick!” his hand gestured towards Tim.

“He sneezed on you Master Timothy?” Tim nodded.

“Well, aren’t we in an odd predicament here?” Alfred thought for a moment longer, aside from the other’s normal cold they would catch, they didn’t have any other sickness. He sighed.

“Alfred?” Bruce asked.

“I’m afraid I have some good news and some very bad news.” He paused. “Good news, it is nothing life threatening, what with Master Richard’s great health he should be well in a matter of a week.”

“And the bad news?” Damian asked.

Alfred went behind Dick and unzipped the back of his uniform. Dick took that as a sign to shrug the top part down. Alfred’s calculations were right as soon as Dick’s torso was bare.

Tim widened his eyes and pointed, mouth gaping open. “AH, Y-Y-YOU—” Tim couldn’t complete his sentence. He was shocked and frustrated. “He sneezed on me!” he grabbed a fist full of his hair. “I was supposed to go on an undercover mission to help a princess in a couple of days!”

“Gross!” Jason tried to pry his ankle off, but it was hopeless. “Great,” he mumbled. “The one time you get sick, you have to have THAT.”

Bruce sighed heavily. Damian however, did not understand.

“What is with those markings on Grayson’s torso?” he asked. Bruce looked down at him, while Jason and Tim stared at him in shock.

“You mean you don’t know what that is?” Tim asked him incredulously.

“Drake, if I had known, I would not have asked the question you fool.”

“Damian, did they not teach you about common human Illnesses?” Bruce asked his son. Damian shook his head.

“I left before they could, but it wouldn’t have mattered. My health is always at its peak and I’m always taking proper care of myself.”

“Young Master Damian, Master Richard has the chicken pox.” Alfred answered the boy. “And I’m afraid you all have it as well.”

“The chicken pox?” this was the first time he has ever heard it. “I don’t feel ill.” He turned towards Tim. “Explain, Drake.”

“Varicella, or what’s commonly known as the Chicken Pox, causes you to have a fever, and break out in a real itchy rash,” Tim sighed. “It occurs more often in children like you. Some people don’t manage to have at all or until their later years. Some can have it twice. It’s rare to see an adult to have the chicken pox actually. I haven’t had it yet…thought I was one of the lucky ones.” He mumbled the last part.

“In all my years here, I have not seen Master Bruce have it either,” Alfred said.

“Neither have I,” Jason said, glaring at Dick.

“It’s contagious. You can get it from skin contact, sharing their food, or being _sneezed_ on. Basically any close contact can get you infected if you never had it,” Tim explained to him.

 “So, Damian caught it when Dick hugged him this morning, Jason from being in constant close contact because of the pet ring, Tim because Dick sneezed on him and I did from feeling his forehead.” Bruce said. A thought came across his mind, realizing something. He smirked.

“Does something amuse you, Master Bruce?” Alfred questioned him.

“It’s nothing.” Bruce smirked, amusement in his eyes. “But I’m afraid you can’t be here or a while.” A bit of sadness lingered in his eyes.

“I was afraid so, Master Bruce. Shingles my age, I wouldn’t bare.” He paused. “It’s time for me to pay a visit to my family; it has been quite a while,” Alfred said with unsureness and gladness. Unsure of leaving the boys, but glad to get a break. “Although when I do come back, I wish to see the Manor the same as how I have left it,” he said to everyone.

Bruce chuckled. “Of course, who do you see us as?”

“That is precisely why I requested so, Master Bruce.” Alfred lifted an eyebrow. After he said that, a familiar beeping went off from Tim.

Tim reached into his pocket and pulled out a device. Yellow, with black markings and a large ‘T’ on the face of it. He pressed a buttons so it wouldn’t automatically make a video call.

“Yo! You rang little man?”

“Cyborg! Did you get my email?” Tim asked.

“Yeah, but I’ma need a spectragraphic analysis so I can compare that to the metal we have.” He paused. “You think you got a doo-hickey to do that over there? I can come over to do it if ya don’t.”

“Don’t think you can come in the Batcave, Cy. My computer does, so it shouldn’t take too long. ”

A very _manly_ squeal screeched out from the small device. “Uh— I mean I’ll keep ya updated man,” Cyborg quickly said, hanging up.

Tim blinked for a moment. “Uh…huh…” he went over to Dick and Jason and began typing a set of codes for the spectragraphic analysis. A blue light scanned the strange device and immediately sent to Cyborg back at Titan’s Tower.

“Ya might wanna scan this too.” Jason snatched the bagged broken alien key out of Dick’s pocket. “Don’t think you can glue it together.”

“This broken? I don’t know but I’ll look at it later. Alien tech is weird.”

“In the meantime, I shall prepare dinner. I suggest for you to go change and freshen up,” Alfred said, taking his leave. “One last dinner to prepare would not hurt.” He said.

“Well how the _fuck_ are we going to do that?” Jason growled.

“Just clean up the best you can and cover up your suit with a robe,” said Bruce.

** ~0o0o0o0o0o0~ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is SO old, but ehh. I wanna upload it.


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